What’s this, Day Four? Five? and I’m still blathering on about this

Well, I guess I have me answer as to whether or not the r-word kerfluffle has hit the mainstream.

You know, I know in the greater scheme of things, this whole “retard/retarded” thing is a tiny drop in the giant pool that is life — and I know I’m going to be aware of chatter about it probably for a looong time in one shape or form — but right now, all I can think to say is that it’s really getting ridiculous and kind of sad. But on the plus side, maybe my Oprah idea isn’t as far-fetched as it was a few days ago: let’s get Jamie Foxx, John C. McGinley, and Sarah Palin — along with some self-advocates like Karen Gaffney –on Oprah to talk about this stuff, eh? (But let’s leave Tim Shriver out of it, just because he’s gotten enough airtime already)

This is maybe the best piece I’ve ever read about why it’s just not okay… and touches on a justification I’ve heard from just about everyone I’ve questioned about it, the “oh, I didn’t mean it that way; I’d never say it to/about your kid”:

They say… What is with all this politically correct stuff anyway? Why are you so sensitive? Nobody calls mentally retarded people retarded… It just doesn’t mean that anymore. Everybody knows that the modern definition of it is: stupid, nonsensical, ineffective, useless, uncooperative. Golly, its the perfect catch-all for most anything that is annoying…

There is no “other context” for the put-down. Whenever you say “that’s retarded” or “Stop being retarded” you are referencing my youngest child. You are saying that something is stupid, like my daughter. That it is useless, like my daughter, worthless like my daughter.

And yet I’m aware that even if people get to the point where they realize that “retarded” shouldn’t be used, it’ll just evolve to some other derogatory term, so there’s really no winning here. And yet, the speed and vigor with which people defend their use of the word still gets to me, especially in places where I would like to think people know better — people who wouldn’t be caught dead using “fag” or “spic” or even “Negro.” I mean, hearing Rush Limbaugh throw the term around just kind of makes me shrug, but in the supposedly progressive bubble in which I reside, even there people don’t give it a second thought, and that’s when I’m actually shocked by it.

I know it’s not smart to read internet comments (and that people there feel free to say/write things they never would out in the world), but sometimes I just can’t resist. So today, there was a post at Daily Kos that touched on this that had me pleasantly surprised, as the majority of the commenters were respectful and/or understanding of the insult. But then came another post, this one about the hypocrisy of Sarah Palin (and, surprise!, she’s a huge hypocrite), and there the commenters were pretty gleefully throwing around “retard/retarded” as if it was all okay.

One comment I read said something about how it was silly to be upset about language usage when there are people starving in the world, as if there’s no way a brain could tackle both those issues and see that they’re both bad, though to admittedly different degrees, at the same time. Yes, I can walk and chew gum at the same time, and I expect most people to be able to do the same. Just because there was an earthquake in Haiti doesn’t mean you now have free rein to call my kid a crappy name.